(Money Magazine) -- When Jessica Barba was deciding where to go to college, she didn't factor how much she'd have to borrow into the equation.

She knew that her parents could afford to contribute only a few thousand dollars and that she'd have to make up the rest. But all the Virginia native could think about was how much she wanted to live in New York City.

So when Barba got the nod from New York University, she accepted - even though she'd have to take out more than $100,000 in loans over four years to pay for it. Even though she'd have had to borrow only half as much if she'd gone to the University of Chicago or Pittsburgh's Carnegie Mellon, where she was also accepted. But neither school was in New York. And at 17, "the difference between $50,000 and $100,000 didn't register," she says. "It all seemed like a lot of money."

Exactly how much sank in soon after Barba graduated in 2001. Working at a nonprofit, Barba took home $1,800 a month - not nearly enough to cover loan payments of $900 a month while paying for food, clothing and rent on a New York City apartment.

Her parents had to step in. Currently they're shelling out $2,000 a month to pay off loans and grad school bills for Jessica and her two younger brothers.

Says John Barba, 59, a school psychologist in Oakton, Va. who drives his late dad's 13-year-old Buick and watches his expenses closely: "It's a drain - like having a second mortgage."

Welcome to the new reality of paying for college - and the crushing debt that often accompanies it. With tuition rising more than twice as fast as inflation and grants shrinking as a share of the financial aid pie, more and more students feel forced to borrow ever larger amounts to pursue their college dreams.

From 1993 to 2004, the median federal loan for new graduates jumped 63 percent to more than $16,000. One in 10 students at private college owe more than $40,000. And that's not even counting how much Mom and Dad borrow to help pay the bills.

The potential consequences are stark. The same debt that enables your child to attend the school of his dreams can lower your family's standard of living for years and divert money from critical goals like saving for retirement.

Students suffer too. According to one study, graduates burdened with student loans are far more likely than nonborrowers to live paycheck to paycheck, run up credit-card debt, postpone buying a house and even delay having children. Nor is there any easy way to make the debt go away: Except in rare cases, even bankruptcy will not rid you of a student loan.

Still, there are measures you can take to keep college debt from overwhelming family finances - both yours and your child's. Here's how to get a handle on it.

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